lost
by the-dark-princess 14
Summary: Alice Cullen begins to rember a past she never could before. harri potter disappeared after killing voldemort when someone she once trusted shot a curse at her. see what happens when the memorys come back.fem!harry harry potter/twilight crossover
1. remembering the pain

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or harry potter.

This story may have some problems with spelling and grammar due to the fact I am dyslexic.

I have not read the twilight books and have only seen the first film so I may have some of the wrong facts this story is set a few years before the first book.

The harry potter side of this story is a bit AU and is set a year after the final battle.

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><p><span>chapter 1<span>

Alice scowled and glared at the carpet like it was its entire fault for her having visions of her past and the pain she suffered. Her power couldn't be getting any stronger now, after all this time, could it? Or was whatever it was that was holding back her memory and her past life finally dissolving? Was she finally going to find out who she really was?

She wanted to know, really badly too. It had been in the back of her mind, always, since she first woke up after being bitten.

The latest one had been of immense pain, like she was being tortured in battery acid or struck by lightning as long as she was kept conscious. Burning pain that she had heard the others talk about: the change. It was agonizing, burning, flaming up her sides before making her feel as if she had blacked out. But there was another pain, a deep pain: betrayal, treachery, and a fire worse than the transformation. It burned everything it touched, leaving her no reprieve before it flickered and faded quickly, leaving her empty and alone. The change was nothing compared to that.

Jasper watched his best friend and love sigh as she finally rolled over in the king sized bed that they shared, pulling the large fleece blanket with bear like black dogs and trees decorating the bottom over her slim frame. When she had bought it, she couldn't help but just get it on impulse, which she almost never does when shopping. She usually plans ahead for that. But she just said it made her feel comfort like the sort you would feel from family.

He could feel the depression descending again, getting stronger and more powerful. Despite her bubbly nature, there were times when a strange sadness would wrap around and try to take hold of his little mate and made her seem extremely depressed and fragile. It was at those times that Jasper felt practically useless, because when that happened, he couldn't do anything to distract her or take away her pain. He just couldn't stand to see her suffer like that.

He walked forward, climbing into bed with her, wrapping arms around her waist. He buried his nose into her soft hair, which she had left alone that day. It was smooth and very messy. It was the reason she spiked it. It was the only way she could get rid of the messiness.

But Jasper loved it. He let his love for her wash over her, hoping to sooth as he just held her close to his body to give her comfort. This continued for a while, her steady breathes lulling him slightly. She could always do that to him, calmed him. He closed his eyes, waiting for her to come back to him and away from the memories of past pain.


	2. feeling lost and alone

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or harry potter.

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><p>chapter 2<p>

Living in Alaska was different, somehow. Alice could tell. She couldn't say for sure why though. It was like something was missing now.

'Yeah, my past', she thought bitterly. Ever since July of the year before, she had been getting more flashbacks, quicker and quicker, giving her a sense of urgency and fear and something she thought of as Death. Exhilaration, happiness, even grief were lost somewhere in her visions. All she saw now was blistering pain, hatred, calm. Anger was dominant, and a thirst for revenge was present, though it only registered distantly in her mind.

It felt like she had no clue as to who she was, and yet at the same time… she knew. She could no longer tell future from past, and, some of the time, her present was lost to her. She was lost and confused.

Her breathe caught, her vision splitting and blurring.

She caught a glimpse of emerald green eyes, a flash of vibrant red hair piled on top of a beautiful face. There were snippets of sound, calming, wrapping her in a cocoon of awe-warmth-safety-happiness-sleepiness-tired-black. It was a lullaby goodnight. It made her content.

Alice came back to herself, shaking her head in confusion. She felt certain she just saw her mother. And she felt she was remembering her infancy. But what in the world was happening to her?

She felt so lost nothing made sense to her anymore. She was scared. So she just sat there as jasper walked over to her sensing her distress and let him hold her close to him as he made calming waves wash over her.

Jasper looked down at his small mate as he held her a concerned expression on his face. He was worried about her, she was everything to him but he could do nothing to help her. He just sat there stroking her hair waiting for her to relax.


	3. the change

Everyone knew Alice was feeling weighted down more and more. Esme, trying to take her mind off of things, took her and the rest of the family on a surprise vacation to the Cullen's Island. Not like they needed one, but everyone agreed Alice needed some warmth and figured Cullen Island would be best for that warmth and to let her relax.

At the moment, Alice was watching the dolphins out in the marinas, her legs dangling over the edge of the pier with her feet gently splashing the water. She had a emerald green tank top and white shorts on, her skin sparkling like diamonds in the sun. Jasper couldn't help but think she looked especially stunning in sunlight. It brought out all the colours he thought she was. He loved to just stand there watching her look peaceful and content.

Then, he heard her take a deep breath before she gasped suddenly, jerking up and looking round towards him with fear on her beautiful face, gold eyes wide and turning green before she collapsed backwards on to the pier landing heavily.

Jasper ran over to her as fast as he could and was beside her in less than a second. He knelt down next to her and leaned over and shook her shoulder gently to try and wake her but she didn't respond. He pulled her to him and held her close to his chest still trying to wake her.

"Alice? Hun? Wake up!" Jasper pleaded. He turned his head towards the house and called out "Carlisle! Edward!"

Carlisle ran out of the house, Edward hot on his heels. "What? What's going on?" Carlisle asked in a slight panic, rushing to Alice's side. He carefully opened her closed eyes, expecting the glazed gold as usual.

He saw glassy emerald. He reeled back, stunned. Was that Alice's normal colour, from before she was turned? "Edward, can you read her?" he asked urgently to his youngest son, tilting her head again, resolutely ignoring her eyes for now. He would think about it later, when she was ok and they knew what happened.

Edward's eyes searched hers, but saw nothing, heard nothing other than the frantic thoughts of everyone else. This made him start to painic.

For the first time, he said, "No."

Alice's now green eyes were moving rapidly now, watching something only she could see, blocking Edward out with shadows. He couldn't tell what was going on. Alice whimpered, looking like she wanted to curl up in a corner around a teddy bear. She looked so scared, so jasper just held onto his love tighter. Her eyes brightened in colour for a moment before they started to change back and forth as she began crying tears. Not blood, like the others would have thought, but these were watery tears, human tears. The others just watched confused, worried and just a little bit scared.

The boat off to the side of the pier began rising from the water slowly. Carlisle wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for the fact that the boat itself raised so high it was blocking the sun. He looked up, his thoughts grinding to a halt when he saw that the boat was floating. But that was not possible, no one could do that.

Was this… Alice's doing? It couldn't be could it?

Before anyone could do anything, Alice screamed, a scream of pure terror, pain and loss, and all three vampires surrounding her were thrown backwards over thirty feet. Edward landed in the water, Jasper was thrown out onto the beach, Carlisle hitting the side of the house, which just so happened to be made of glass. Shards of what used to be the window rained down on him as the rest of the Cullen Clan watched in horrified silence as he slowly got back up. None of them had any idea what was going on. Esme rushed over to see if he was okay, while Rosalie and Emmett looked out against the glare of the sun to see Alice, thrashing in pain like she was having a fit. Rosalie could make out the sound of her murmuring almost begging "Nonononono… NO!" the last part she screamed out just before a blast knocked the boat away from her at a high speed. It flipped several times, smacking into a shallow part of the beach before it rolled away and sunk into the water.

Emmett gasped, pointing wordlessly at the pier on which Alice had been laying while Rosalie had watched the boat sink.

Rosalie looked up quickly, searching for Alice. And she found her.

She was floating slightly, about a foot off the ground and still sparkling brilliantly… but it was… fading, dimming. Why? It almost looked as if she was dying losing her life-force. Without a thought, Rose and Esme ran to Alice's side, looking for anything that might give them a clue as to what was happening to her. Any way to help her, save her.

They couldn't find anything about what was making Alice like this. She was still jerking with pain but she seemed to shrink a little, about two and a half inches from her 4'11" stature. Her hair thickened and darkened, if that was possible. It splayed out against the flat boards, like a halo.

Wide, glazed, pain filled emerald green eyes stared out at the two girls, silently pleading for help, for silence, for blindness. She needed it to end, someone to save her.

As jasper began slowly walking back to her, She screamed one last ear splitting scream, before falling limp and landing on the pier with a small thud, a heartbeat sounding amongst the shocked hush.


	4. what happened?

When Alice woke up, she was groggy, groaning before she lifted a hand to press it against her forehead. "Damn headache," she hissed in pain. "What in the world happened…?" she asked aloud.

"That's what we would like to know." The voice made Alice jump up and twirl around. At first she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing. Everyone looked the same, but well, not the same. Everything looked so different, dimmer almost. Then she blinked and everything looked alright again. "What was going on? This is not possible."

"I don't… I don't know. At first, I was thinking, damn headache. It had been bugging me since last year, but I've learned to ignore it. Then something just… clicked and fell together, I don't know. It was like someone throwing a brick at a store window. Then, everything started flooding. People I've never seen, names of people I've never met, bright lights, green, pain, pleasure, pride, hatred. Then, poof, everything was gone, there was just nothing. I think I blacked out, but I still have a headache. Maybe everything settled in my subconscious?" Alice wondered, tapping her chin and looking upward like the ceiling held all the answers.

"Alice, I think they more than settled. You've… you've been out cold for the past five days, and… your heart. It's beating," Carlisle whispered urgently. "I just don't know what you are now you can't be a vampire anymore; you've got a heartbeat, you skin is warm and your eyes are green but… but you can't be human you still look and smell like one of us and you don't need air I… I just don't know what you are. It's almost like your half vampire but that is just not possible." Carlisle gasped out at her.

Alice blinked once, twice, thrice, before shaking her head rapidly in denial. "No, no… not now…I, I have a family… I like being a vampire" she kept shaking her head, hands automatically tangling in her dark messy hair and sobbed out "I don't want to change, I don't want to be alone again."

At that Esme ran forward and held her gently and said softly but full of emotion "you are staying with us. You're part of the family and always will be, we don't care what you are we will still love you." Alice looked slowly and quietly said "but what about jasper?" everyone looked to the corner were jasper was stood. He walked over to Alice, sat down next to her, and just held her to him letting waves of his love wash over her and he could feel the relief rolling off of her.

Suddenly she stiffened and her eyes went unfocused as she had a vision. When it was over she quickly demanded, "What's the full date today?"

"July 15, 1998."

Alice looked at them all and said "we need to go to England. the answers are in England."

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><p>AN: feel free to give any of your ideas and i will try to use them.<p>

i start collage monday so may not update for a few days but will in less than a week.


	5. travle

"So Alice, how did you make the boat fly?" Emmett asked suddenly.

Alice looked up they had been sat on the plain for two hours and she had finally calmed down and relaxed and adjusted to the changes and the new memories. She looked confused for a moment then gave him a bright smile and happily said "magic!"

They all just looked at her slightly amused and very confused. "Magic?" Edward asked. "Yep. Magic!" she said bouncing in her seat. "okay." Edward said still confused then asked "and why are we going to England?" "Oh, just the usual, see some old friends, shopping and telling some people that I'm not dead, like I said just a normal trip." Alice said happily then pauses to think before saying "and I want to go talk to the goblins first." She said in a mater-of-fact voice.

Everyone was silent for a little while until suddenly Carlisle asked "are you originally from England then Alice?" "Yep, until I was seventeen and the war ended, but then…" she trailed off looking sad but a minute later she jumped back up and excitedly said "jasper, we got to go shopping there are just so many shops in London and I want to get you a whole new wardrobe!" jasper just smiled at her, even if he hated shopping it was nice to see his mate happy again.

"Well I need Emmett and Edward to come with me, I'm going shopping to get all the new English fashions and need them to carry my stuff." Rosaline said without looking up from her car magazine. Edwards face fell as she said that and the rest of the flight were held in idle chatter.

When they finally got off the plane Alice was bouncing around and being hyper again calling them all to follow her as she ran out the doors. When they all stopped jasper walked up to Alice from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist giving her a kiss on the cheek. "So were to first then Alice." He asked.

"London." Alice replied simply to him.

Emmett was about to say something when Alice stiffened and her eyes glazed over as she had another vision. When the vision ended she slumped slightly with jasper holding her upright, covered her eyes with her hands and whispered "oh no," the others turned to her and asked "what's wrong?"

Alice looked up at them and said "this is going to be bad. Remus won't like you and will try to protect me." She said. "So, what can a little human do to us?" Emmett said slightly amused at the thought of a human trying to fight them. "Not human," Alice said quietly, at that they all looked at her in question. She continued "werewolf and he sees' me as his cub." "You mean one of those mutts?" Edward hissed. I shook my head at him "no, a true werewolf, Full moon and everything." "Ok, so what do we do then?" Carlisle asked. "Just try not to start a fight." Alice replied. And with that Alice started to run towards London pulling jasper along with her by his hand with the others right behind her.


	6. gringotts

sorry about the wait but i have just stared collage and only just got the time to write a new chapter. hope you like it. i should able to put up the next chapter soon.

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><p>When they arrived at the leaky caldron Alice quickly pulled them through to Diagon alley and smiled as all their eyes widened and their mouths hung open. She giggled and dragged them into gringotts, here they all stopped and started to gape at the goblins while Alice skipped up to one of the counters and said to the goblin cheerfully "good afternoon giphook, I hope business is doing well." The goblin looked down at her in surprise then replied calmly "good afternoon lady potter, I did not expect you to remember me." Alice giggled and said "of course I remember you, you took me to my vault the first time I came here." She smiled at the memory and then asked "can we go to a privet office so we can talk without people overhearing us?" "of course, follow me lady potter." He replied and walked away.<p>

When they all were seated in the office Alice said softly to giphook "could you please call my godfather into the bank for a meeting, but don't tell him I'm here, I don't want anyone to know I'm back yet." "Of course lady potter it will be my pleasure, I will summon lard black right away." Answered giphook and with that he left the room. After he left all of the vampires turned to look at Alice, "lady potter?" asked Edward with a small smirk, Alice just giggled at the look of envy on Rosaline's face.

"So magic is real then?" Emmett suddenly bust out. Alice nodded giggling again then pointed at Edward making him change colours. "Hay, what did I do for that?" Edward yelled. Alice just looked up at him and said, "Nothing I just felt like it." While trying to look as innocent as possible. Edward sat back down and jasper sat Alice down and pulled her close to him so he could hold her and asked softly "so who is this lord black?" Alice smiled up at him and replied "Sirius was the closest thing I had to a parent when I was still human." Carlisle was about to say something when they herd someone walking up the corridor towards them.

A moment later the door bust open and giphook walk in behind him stood a tall handsome man who had an aristocrat's face with long dark hair and eyes the colour of molten silver who was dressed in very expensive looking formal robes. He looked down at giphook and asked in a voice that sounded as if he had lost much "now what did the bank want to talk to me about?" it was then that he decided to look around the and noticed the vampires all looking at him, he stiffened slightly until he noticed that they had gold eyes, then relaxed again. He continued to look around until his gaze landed on a beautiful green eyes staring at him. At that moment he felt as if his heart stopped and he just continued to look straight into those emerald eyes.


	7. sirius

They just stared at each other for a few moments that felt like forever, when jasper pulled Alice even closer to him and growled protectively. This shocked Sirius out of his staring, he glanced quickly at jasper with a slight frown, then looked back at Alice and whispered "Ali, is that really you, we all thought you were dead?" Alice looked up to his face, and saw his eyes were shining with hope, and then gave him a shaky nod. Sirius's face lit up and he ran over to her and pulled her into a hug, the moment the hug was finished jasper pulled Alice away to his side and growled lowly at him. Sirius stopped and looked to Alice in question, she gave him a half smile and said "jasper is very protective of me, he just wants to keep me safe but he doesn't know you yet so he doesn't know that he can trust you." Sirius looked insulted, took a step towards jasper so they were almost nose to nose and said in a voice full of conviction, honesty and a little hurt "I would never hurt Alice, I would give my life for her she has been like I daughter to me since I first held her in my arms."

Jasper could sense the truth in his words so stopped growling at him but still kept a tight hold on Alice. They all sat back down slowly, jasper and Sirius still watching each other warily when Sirius asked "ali what happened to you we thought we had lost you." Alice looked at Sirius sadly and started her story.

"I had just defeated Voldemort, as you saw, and I turned round to see Dumbledore hidden in the shadows with his wand pointed at me. I didn't have time to move the spell just flew at me, I didn't recognise it, and then it hit and I blacked out. When I woke up my magic was bound and all my memories were gone, all I could remember was I was called Alice, I was in an insane asylum in 1920 and there was a vampire leaning over me. I was so scared. Then there was the burning it felt like my blood was on fire when it finally stopped I found out I had been made a vampire. I had a vision; I had become a seer I think it was because I always got these feelings when something was going to happen when I was alive. The vision was of me taking jasper away from the war he was forced to fight in and going to Carlisle to be part of his family. So I went out and did what I had seen and everything was normal until about a year ago. It actually started the day the war ended; I began to get headaches and see flashes of my past life it kept getting worse until about a week ago. Something just broke. One minuet I fine the next my memories and magic rushed through me faster than I could handle, it hurt so much, then my magic started to change me. I don't know how but I'm almost human now, but I still have the best bits of a vampire, the looks, the immortality, the speed and strength, the super senses, I still get visions and I don't think I can age."

When Alice finished she just looked at her small hands, she couldn't bear to see rejection on Sirius's face. She squeaked in surprise when she felt Sirius wrap his arms around her and whispered to her "I will never let that happen to you again pup, I promise."

An hour of talking later they were all about to leave they planned to take a portkey to potter manor, it was the house that Alice's father had grown up in, when Sirius noticed exactly how close to his goddaughter that jasper was getting. So about ten minutes before they were supposed to leave Sirius stormed up to jasper and said in the most deadly voice he could manage which sent shivers down everyone's spines, "now, what exactly is you relationship with my goddaughter and how exactly do you treat her?" the look on Sirius's face showed he would kill jasper if he didn't give acceptable answers.

Jasper stepped back and gulped then he looked at Alice. When he looked at her and she gave him a small smile he felt his love for her consume him. He felt as if he would do the impossible if it would make her happy, he just looked at her taking in her beauty and perfection and felt incredibly lucky she had chosen him that his mate had found him worthy of her. He turned back to Sirius, looked him straight in the eye and voice full of conviction and honesty said "sir, Alice is my mate and I would die for her in a heartbeat, I would go to the ends of the earth just to see her smile and would tear to shreds in an instant anyone who even thought of hurting her. I can tell how much you mean to her so I would like to ask for your approval because I'm certain that would make her happy."

Sirius looked at him a moment sensing the truth then looked at his goddaughter who was looking at him with big pleading eyes and gave in. he sighed and gave jasper a small nod to show his approval. And with that it was time for the portkey to go, so they grabbed onto the paperweight and were gone.

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><p>i cant remembe what i was going to do next with this story so please leave me idears and i will be able to comtinue the story from them<p> 


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